Friday, April 03, 2009

Son, I stumbled again. I feel good about this stumble as it too was not very well directed. I sat there amazed bewildered of the outcome. It all happened so fast. I missed you today. I am deeply in love with you. I kind of caught you off guard, yet you stayed reserved. Still singing the same ol song. Ah I recoiled briefly and realized Me communicating my thoughts were as more for me as for her. You think of not being selfish and considering the others thoughts so only positive vibrations reverberate. To miss, my thoughts were on them and they are what matters. E=MC 2(squared). Energy equals matter times (considered) in two unique ways conscious and subconscious. My subconscious has been planning, reciting, enjoying, winning, succeeding and as I realize in my conscious its seemingly second nature so I transmit energy to what matters. (Okay, that was a far stretch to incorporates Einsteins theory. Funny how that idea has been stewing with me for about a decade when my brother and I decided to build our mission statement off it. I must find that flyer we made - at the same time another example of the theory)

What is work. Doing something I don't want to do. What is play. Being Everything else. My steps to directed thought has led me to Mr. Leonardo da Vinci.

Obstacles cannot crush me. Every obstacle yields to stern resolve. He who is fixed to a star does not change his mind.
The Notebooks of Leonardo da Vinci

I still miss you and that makes me smile ear to ear.


My son, every day I am so very proud of you as I watch you progress. Here is a bit of my philosophy on stumbling. It's okay to stumble. I have stumbled my way into an amazing family that others dream of. I have stumbled into purpose, passion, and love. Son, love is where I have stumbled most of all. I stumbled with you and your mother. I have stumbled with my brothers, friends, and the world in some respect.

Son, direct your thought on the ideal stumbles in life and you will have carved a life experience like no other.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Are you enjoying as much as I, the nervousness and anticipation when we are together? I feel like a little boy, eager yet unsure of how to say I love you. My doubts and fears of your rejection, my doubts and fears of our current relationship ceasing and praying for the ideal, while appreciating the choices and so deeply in love with you that either answer I could live with although I would have to meditate for a lifetime on the latter.